beksi_cola (beksi_cola) wrote,

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Quote of the Day Special!

Ok because I've made you guys wait so long for another quote of the day I'm giving you a special! It's a mix of all the shows: Friends, Seinfeld, Gilmore Girls, Red Dwarf, and MST3K

Quote 1

C1: What we need is a name.
C2: I made my suggestion.
C3: Yeah, and we vetoed "The Harry Potters." Next.
C2: So yours is better?
C3: "Follow Them to the Edge of the Dessert" is memorable and classy.
C2: I run out of breath every time I say it.
C3: You've got asthma, dude. You run out of breath saying your name.
C1: Yeah, we can't work our name around your respiratory illnesses.
C2: Even without an inhaler, "Follow Them to the Edge of the Dessert" is too long.
C3: Yeah, but when we get famous, our fans will shorten it to F-T-T-T-E-O-T-D.

Quote 2

C1: [about a nice, new apartment that C2's thinking of getting] Listen, if you are feeling uncomfortable about this at all... *at all*... Do not feel like you have to take it.
C2: Why?
C1: If you're having second thoughts, if you didn't want it, don't worry about it... because, uh, you know... I-I-I could take it, you know.
C2: You could take it? You want it?
C1: No, I don't want it. I want it if you don't want it.
C2: So you... *do* want it?
C1: No, I want it if you don't want it.
C2: You just said you wanted it!

Quote 3

C1: 'Sup? 'Sup, dude?
C2: [putting his hands up] Take whatever you want, just please don't hurt me.
C1: So, you're playing a little Playstation, huh? That's whack. Playstation is whack. 'Sup with the whack Playstation, 'sup? Huh? Come on, am I nineteen or what?
C2 : Yes, on a scale from one to ten, ten being the dumbest a person can look, you are definitely nineteen.

Quote 4

C1: (as Colossus blithely pulls a spear out of his side): Luckily this was before death was invented.

Quote 5

C1: I was in there for two minutes. He didn't do anything: touch this / feel that, 75 bucks.
C2: Well, its a first visit.
C1: Well, its 75 bucks. What, am I seeing Sinatra in there? Am I being entertained? I don't understand this.
[long pause] I'm only paying half.
C2: You can't do that.
C1: Why not?
C2: He's a doctor. You gotta pay what he says.
C1: Oh no, no, no, no, no. I pay what I say.

Quote 6

C1: Sometimes, I think it's cruel giving machines a personality. My mate Petersen once bought a pair of shoes with Artificial Intelligence. 'Smart Shoes' they were called. It was a neat idea. No matter how blind drunk you were, they could always get you home. But he got rattled one night in Oslo and woke up the next morning in Burma. You see, his shoes got bored going from his local to his flat. They wanted to see the world, you know. He had a hell of a job getting rid of them. No matter who he sold them to, they'd show up again the next day. He tried to shut them out, but they just kicked the door down.
C2: Is this true?
C1: Yeah. The last thing I heard, they sort of... robbed a car and drove it into a canal. They couldn't steer, you see.
C2: Really?
C1: Yeah. Petersen was really, really blown away about it. He went to see a priest. The priest told him... he said it was alright and all that, when shoes are happy that they'd get into heaven. You see, it turns out shoes have 'soles'.

Quote 7

C1: Hey. Why isn't it Spiderman? You know, like Goldman, Silverman.
C2: Because, it... it's not his last name.
C1: It isn't?
C2: No. It's not like Phil Spiderman. He's a spider *man*. You know, like Goldman is a last name but there's no gold man.
C1: Oh, oh okay...There should *be* a gold man!

Quote 8

C1: What are you saying?
C2: I'm not saying anything.
C1: You're saying something.
C2: What could I be saying?
C1: Well you're not saying nothing so you must me saying something.
C2: If I were saying something, I would have said it.
C1: So why don't you say it?
C2: I said it.
C1: What did you say?
C2: Nothing.

Quote 9

C1: [reading a story on the back of a menu] Four hours later... Sniffy was dead. Sniffy was dead? Are you *serious*? Where's the happy ending?
C2: That's what happened.
C1: Well, people don't read the back of the menu to find out what *really* happened. They read the back of the menu to be *happy*. To be *uplifted*. That's why they read the back of the menu!

Quote 10

C1: Drop dead!
C2: Already have.
C1: Encore!
Quote 10

Quote 11

C1: (during a skydiving scene) The actors do their own skydiving?
C2: No, the skydivers did their own acting

Quote 12

C1: ...But a black hole is a huge impacted star. It's millions of miles wide, it's massive! Why didn't you see anything on the radar screen?
C2: Well, the thing about a black hole, its main distinguishing feature... is it's black. And the thing about space, the colorof space... your basic space color... is it's black. So how're ya supposed to see 'em?

Quote 13

C1: It couldn't get any worse. Last night, I spent eight hours calling him, trying to get him to talk to me.
C2: Oh, wow. Eight hours. So you could probably really use one of those plug-in telephone headsets, huh?
C3: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?
C2: You shouldn't.

Quote 14

C1: He doesn't write the orders down, he never brings you food that's hot or yours, he can't distinguish bagels from doughnuts, he hands out butt napkins, and he has worn that Foreigner t-shirt every single day since he started working here and he doesn't know who they are. I asked him.
C2: What are butt napkins?
C1: Kirk needed a napkin, and he pulled one out of his back pocket.

Quote 15

C1: (as the good guys blithely step over the bodies of their fallen comrades): Ohhhh, don't hop over the bodies!
C2: That's just wrong!

Quote 16:

C1: [just about to hit a time hole] Put your belt on!
C2: Look, I do not need fashion tips from you.
C1: Safety Belt!

Quote 17

C1: Can you help me fold these napkins?
C2: Sure.
C1: I'm gonna go across the hall and check on the yams.
[Notices the way C2 is folding the napkins]
C1: No... no honey... Not like that, we're not a barn dance. You wanna fold them like swans like I showed you at Christmas, remember?
C2: Yeah. It all came screaming back to me.

Quote 18

C1: Not according to Sherry. She made a very persuasive argument that if we left at six, there’d be an extra hour of sitting in traffic, so by leaving at seven we’d get home at the same time as leaving at six.
C2: She’s very up on traffic flow and rush hour and all that.
C1: She’s Rand McNally.
C2: She should do traffic reports on the radio.
C1: "Hi, this is Sherry Tinsdale. Looks like there’s a tie-up on the boulevard. They appear to be moving every building in Harvard University so now it’s just one point three miles from my house. Nice job, guys."
C2: You’re awful.
C1: "Oh, and lots of cars stopped at a blue light on Garvey Avenue. Why a blue light? Well, ‘cause blue’s the new red.

Quote 19

C1: Then, everybody is screaming because the bus driver is passed out from all the commotion. The bus is out of control! So I grab him by the collar, take him out of the seat. I get behind the wheel and now I'm driving the bus!
C2: You’re Batman.
C1: Yeah, yeah I am Batman. Then the mugger, he comes to and he starts choking me. So I'm fighting him off with one hand, and I kept driving the bus with the other, you know. Then, I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door, you know. With my foot, you know, at the next stop.
C3: You kept making all the stops?
C1: Well, people kept ringing the bell.

Quote 20

C1: Isn't it cute the way they're making a stab at a plot?

Ok (phew!) Hopefully I haven't made any mistakes, I'm sure if I did you'll forgive me since it would likely be to your benefit! Good luck! You have until...umm...will go with Friday? Is that long enough? We'll hope so! Friday! I will update Friday afternoon so by Friday morning!

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